


act right

by allthelostsouls



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: F/M, M/M, i don't know what this is i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-10
Packaged: 2018-02-28 20:43:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2746394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthelostsouls/pseuds/allthelostsouls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey loves Ian but he can't say it out loud. Ian loves Mickey and he can't seem to stop crying about it. Mandy likes Lip but he doesn't know that. Lip likes Mandy but she doesn't know that. Lip sometimes wishes Mickey wasn't so... Mickey, Mickey someties wishes he could be in love with one of Mandy's friends. Mandy thinks Mickey's sort of a dick, Ian thinks Lip's an idiot. And everything's a goddamn mess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	act right

**Author's Note:**

> It's been forever since the last time I finished any story and honestly, I'm not too happy about it and it doesn't make much sense but it's finished, so that counts for something, right? So let's pretend this is good and that Lip deserves Mandy and all that, okay? Okay. Any mistakes please let me know so I can fix it right away. Thanks. Title from '[Act Right](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtparbYVy4I)' by Wynona Carr. Been listening to it for the longest time and it doesn't have anything to do with it but it helped me finish writing this so. Yeah, I don't—I don't know either.

The bottle keeps spinning and so is Ian’s head.

Everything around him is nothing but a blur of colors and he’s so drunk he can’t even feel his own tongue. He thinks about that when he swallows and practically chokes but the people start cheering so no one hears him. He stands up because the person next to him pushes him up and then a tiny hands grab his arm and leads him towards the dark closet. She lets him go once the door is closed and the colors are gone and all he can see in the dark is the shadow of a girl and a bunch of coats next to her. And he really wants to grab one of those furry coats, lie on the floor, and simply pass the fuck out.

“Are you okay?” She asks, her hand touching his arm again and Ian can’t even feel the tears running down his cheeks until she says, “Ian? Why are you crying? What’s wrong?”

He tries to ask her how does she know his name but the limp on his throat makes it almost impossible to talk.

“Mandy,” she says and probably he said that out loud, he doesn’t even know anymore. “Ian, I’m Mandy.” 

“Mandyyyy,” he chants through the tears and pulls her into a hug. 

“Hi, handsome,” she replies with sympathy. “Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

He nods cleaning his cheeks, and just like that the lump on his throat is gone and he’s not crying anymore. He takes a few breaths and lets her go, his back finding the wall almost immediately to try and keep himself up.

“I really like this guy and I think he likes me too but no one’s supposed to know. And I want everyone to know, you know? But if they know about me they might know about him too and he’ll never forgive me and then I’ll lose him and I can’t lose him, you know? I just can’t—I mean, I just—the thing is…,” and he stops himself there. He looks at her, an apology written all over his face and after taking another breath he says, “You’re really pretty and any other time I’d have kissed you so the people outside wouldn’t suspect anything but I haven’t kissed anybody since… well, him. And I think I’m gonna throw up and I really wouldn’t like to do it on you. I’m not saying kissing you would make me throw up but—“

“Ian!” she stops him with a laugh. “It’s okay, I get it.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do.”

A knock on the door makes them jump and the panic that crosses Ian’s face makes Mandy’s heart break.

“Here,” she says and raises her hand to wipe her mouth and then presses the same hand onto his lips and moves it a bit around the edges. It takes him a second to realize she just put some of her lipstick on him and that hers must be all messy looking now, like they actually had kissed. “When we go outside just keep walking and I’ll take you home, okay?”

“Thank you,” he mumbles and he’s about to cry again because he’s so thankful and so in love with this girl already.

*

“What time do you get off?” Ian asks Mandy three days later, helping her clean up the table of ten she served and had just left the restaurant.

“In twenty five minutes.”

“You wanna stay and have dinner with me here?” he asks then, playing with his fingers since the table was clean now and he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. “I can wait for you.”

“Sure, I’d love to,” she smiles at him and he nods goodbye before sitting in his car for half an hour just trying to listen to music and thinking how to hell is he going to explain everything to her. Where should he start? What should he tell her? Will she even listen to the whole thing?

Thirty five minutes later, they both tell the cook whatever they want to eat and find a table. As soon as they’re comfortable he speaks, “thank you for the other night.”

“No problem.”

“I feel like I should tell you…”

“Oh, no, don’t be silly,” she interrupts him. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”

“But I _want_ to, is the thing.” He replies, pinching the inside of his hand and Mandy wonders if that’s something he does when he’s nervous. “I feel like I should talk about it with someone, you know? But I feel like such an asshole asking you to listen something you might not wanna hear.”

“But I want to, is the thing.” She interrupts him again, a smile playing at the corner of her lips when she repeats his words but it soon disappears when she says, “I want to know you’re okay.”

“I am,” he answers. “Sort of.” 

They stay quiet after that. Their food arrives and Mandy throws a fry into her mouth staring at him. Once she swallows she says, “Well, I’m listening.”

And after a deep breath, Ian tells her the whole thing. She gets over the whole _it’s your brother_ shock thing and that gives him the courage to keep talking. He talks about that one night Mickey walked into the store all worried and just started talking to Ian as if they were best friends while looking around and picking up some chips and coke, and that one late winter night that he showed up at Ian’s house because he was bored and they kissed for the first time in the dark. He talks about the last time they saw each other and the last time they kissed and their first fight and how hard it is to talk about his sexuality even though his family knows and assure him that none else would care. Finally, he tells her about that time that started fucking everything up. The time Mickey called him names to keep appearances and broke his heart for the first time. He also tells her that the same night Mickey climbed on his window, crying, telling him that he was sorry and that his father would kill him if he knew and that they’d kick the shit out of him and that he wouldn’t be able to handle the stares. Ian replied saying, “and you think I can handle all the jokes and names your stupid friends call me now?” but he couldn’t stay mad long and they soon agreed that Mickey wouldn’t call him names anymore if Ian promised they’d keep their relationship secret. And the thing is _this secret is eating me alive_.

“I’m sorry,” Mandy whispers because she doesn’t know what else to say and grabs his hand over the table trying her best to show her support. “I’m sorry this is happening to you. You don’t deserve to be bullied and you should be free to love whoever you want to love.”

“Thank you.”

They smile at each other and that’s when the Milkoviches and his friends walk in followed right after by two of the Gallaghers and funny how those things work, huh? The silence is shattered by their screams and loud laughs and even though Mickey frowns when he walks past them and see their hands together, he doesn’t say anything and he doesn’t look back. Ian doesn’t let go of her hand but squeezes instead and Mandy squeezes right back because both of them need support right now.

“Lip, huh?”

“What?” Mandy replies and that’s when she realizes she’s been staring at the back of the guy’s head, closing her hand around Ian’s even harder.

“I saw the way you looked at him when he walked in. And the way he got all angry when he saw us holding hands and pretended being too busy taking Liam to the bathroom. What’s up with you two?”

“Nothing,” her eyes fall to the table and the nails of her free hand start moving over the wood making little circles. “That’s kind of the problem. We’ve talked a few times when he comes here to eat but that’s about it.”

Ian takes a deep breath and squeezes her hand again just for a second, showing her his support the same way she had done a few seconds ago. 

“Boys suck.”

*

When Mandy pleaded Ian to get the job at the dinner so they could spend more time together and so they wouldn’t hire the fat guy who stares at her every time he comes in, it took him almost a full minute of thought.

He figures he needs the money even though is shit but he looks so good in the uniform he could use it _somewhere else_ and make even more money, so. _Why the hell not?_

*

Weeks later, Mickey shows up alone at the restaurant and walks around the place as if he’s looking for someone.

“He’s not here,” Mandy murmurs behind him. “He had to take his sister to the doctor.”

“Oh, shit, that’s right. They think she has appendicitis.” He murmurs distracted and sees her nod. 

She tells him to sit down and that she’ll be right back to take his order. He does and she picks up the rest of the plates in the table and gives him a shy smile. His eyes widen and he feels his stomach drop because she knows. _She fucking knows_.

Mandy comes back a few seconds later and Mickey’s in the exact same position; both hands flat on the table, his eyes wide and his breathing accelerated.

“Don’t worry, no one else knows,” she tells him while putting down the ketchup and salt in between his hands. “I swore I wouldn’t tell anybody and I won’t.”

“How long… When did… I mean, what—“

“Almost two months ago,” she stops his mumbling. “He was pretty drunk at this party and we were playing seven minutes in heaven ‘cause there wasn’t anything else to do and it was our turn to go inside the closed and he started crying. He told me he couldn’t kiss me and told me about a boy but he didn’t say who. A few days after that he told me everything.” 

Mickey’s head’s spinning because she’s known all this time and she hasn’t said anything. She hasn’t asked him anything or looked at him differently, nothing. And even right now when she’s telling him that she knows, she’s not making a big deal out of it and Mickey could stand up and hug her and tell her she’s amazing and that he’s glad Ian has her because he probably needs someone to talk about it. He wonders if she’d listen to him too but then he thinks it might be too much to ask. It wouldn’t be for her, she’d listen to anything he’d have to say about it. But for him, could he actually admit out loud how in love he is with that piece carrot?

“Are you gonna order anything?” she asks him resting her hand on his shoulder and he thinks Ian’s lucky. He really is. (They both are). Mickey shakes his head no and she nods, understanding. She puts the little notebook back in the pocket of her apron and smiles at him. “Alright, is there anything else I can help you with?”

“Can you promise me something?” he finds himself whispering and he’s not sure if he should be doing this but Mandy’s right there, squeezing his shoulder, all understanding and stuff and he just has to.

“I won’t tell anybody.”

“No, it’s not that…” he murmurs shaking his head again, even though he’s glad she promised him that too. “Would you be there for him? Would you tell him that everything’s gonna be okay and that we’ll figure it out every time he feels suffocated or like he can’t do it anymore? Would you do that?”

Mandy sighs, her hand moving the back of his head where she plays with his hair for a second or two before nodding, “Of course, loser.”

“Thank you,” he replies, a weight lifting off his shoulders because now Ian had someone to turn to. Even though his family knows about him, they don’t know about _them_ and he still doesn’t feel comfortable telling the Gallaghers all the details. But he now had someone he could trust and talk about it and someone who’d be there for him when Mickey can’t. 

And he’ll forever be grateful with Mandy for that.

“Would you promise _me_ something?” Mandy asks then.

“Sure.”

“Please don’t hurt him.”

Mickey smiles a bit at that as if Mandy’s telling him something that would never happen, something impossible. He shrugs and says, “I can’t lose him.”

And it’s not a promise but Mandy knows it’s the truth, so she leaves it at that.

*

Two weeks after that, Mandy’s cleaning up some tables when Lip walks in.

He sits down and steals one of the menus from the empty table next to his and Mandy has to take a few breathes to stop her hands from shaking and remember how to speak properly.

“Welcome,” she says and lets out a sigh when he looks up at her, happy that she’s said the exact same words a million times to a million different people and that they come out all natural now. If she had to actually think the words, it’d be a complete mess of letters. “What can I get you tonight?”

“Hi,” he smiles and Mandy’s about to faint. “Can I get a cheese burger without onions and a coke, please?”

She nods, writing down his order in her little notebook. She doesn’t have to do it but it helps her keep calm.

“I’ll be right back.”

And eight minutes later she was smiling at him while putting down his food in front of him.

“Enjoy,” she mumbles.

“Wait,” he calls and she turns back around almost violently. She should feel embarrassed but she doesn’t somehow, which is weird. And as he smiles at her again, she feels herself relax which is even weirder. “Do you wanna sit down?”

“I can’t…,” she apologizes but when she looks around and realizes they’re the only ones in the diner she tells him she’d be right back. She tells the cook she’s closing the front door and he tells her he’ll close the back when he leaves. She nods and walks back outside, taking off her apron and sitting on the other side of the table, Lip’s blue eyes staring right at her.

“How is it?” she asks him, pointing at his burger because she has no idea what else to say.

He nods, “it’s really good.”

“Good.”

Two hours later he’s done eating and they’re just talking about anything and everything, sharing stories and laughing and for the past hour and forty minutes Mandy actually feels comfortable around him. That, until her phone starts ringing and the caller ID says _Ian_ , a picture of them in the background and Lip twists in his seat when he sees it.

“Sorry,” she says and she pushes the bottom on the screen before lifting the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“Mandy…” he breathes on the other side of the line and it takes her a second, maybe two, to realize he’s crying.

“Are you alright?”

“No,” he says, choking on his tears. “I’m sorry. Can we talk?”

“Of course. Where are you?”

“Two blocks down from your house.”

“I’ll be there in a second.”

She closes her eyes while hanging up and prepares herself to apologize with JLip for leaving him but he speaks first, sadness coming out of his mouth when he says, “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, I got to go pick him up. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he shrugs and stands up. He has to wait until she’s got all of her stuff because he needs her to open the door. She turns off all lights and locks the door once they’re outside, throws the key on her purse, not sure what to do or say now.

“I’ll see you around, I guess,” Lip mumbles looking down at his feet, both his hands on the front pockets of his jeans.

“You wanna stop by tomorrow?” she finds herself saying and it’s like _good job, Mandy!_ “I have to close again, so…”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He steps forward and she thinks he’s gonna kiss her. The blood freezes in her veins when she smells his perfume and he does kiss her, but it’s just a quick peck on the cheek. He turns around and leaves without saying anything else. With her mind a little bit on space still she forces her legs to move and walks as fast as he can until she finds a completely sobbing mess sitting next to a light pole that she calls her best friend. She helps him up and walks him home while he tells her about how Mickey broke up with him after he said he loved him and she thinks _wow, you coward_. But she just holds his hand and promises him everything will be okay. And she hates herself a little for keeping the promise she made Mickey that time he stopped by at the diner, but she shrugs it off because it’s what Ian needs. Mickey and his bullshit promises don’t matter right now.

“What a dick,” she says later and Ian agrees.

*

Lip doesn’t show up the next day.

Mickey does, though. He’s with some of his friends and things aren’t going so great. Mandy takes the table because Maggie, the other server, is nowhere around and she knows Ian can’t handle it but so far he’s doing well. He sometimes looks at Mickey when none of his friends are looking at him but he’s nowhere near close to crying which is good and even though he’s not as bubbly with the clients as usual, they still find him very charming. All hell breaks loose when Mandy’s re-filling their drinks and Ian walks by and the guy sitting across from Mickey fake coughs and says, “ _Fucking faggot_.”

Mandy’s blood starts bowling and she’s never wanted to hurt someone as much as she wants to hurt him. She sees Mickey’s hand forming fist at each side of his legs and she knows he won’t do anything about it so she dumps the jar of water she has on her hand on the guy’s head. He stands up, screaming at her and instead of backing out she steps forward.

“Get _the fuck_ out of here,” she curses and she used to saying bad words all the time but lately that’s the only way she seems to find to express her anger in a non-violent way, and soon she finds that saying bad words actually help her control the urge to hurt people physically. “You’re not allowed in here anymore.”

She’s ready to fight him, it’s written all over her face. But before he or she can say anything else Ian’s there holding her back and the cook, Tank, (a six foot tall chubby guy) is behind him, asking them to step outside. When the guy doesn’t move, Tank grabs him by the collar of his shirt and pretty much kicks him out of the place. Everything’s silent and Mickey and his friends are all wide-eyed looking at each other, not knowing what to do.

“If any of you guys share the same feelings as your friend, you either keep it to yourselves or you can get the fuck out too,” Maggie tells them and they all quietly leave their money on the table and get up to leave. 

Mickey stays a bit longer and stares at Ian, who isn’t looking at him at all. He sighs on defeat and walks out the place, leaving a twenty dollar bill on the table.

“Are you alright?” Mandy asks him and Ian just nods, shrugging. 

Maggie and Tank go back to work, Ian sits down in the back for a bit, and Mandy cleans up the mess. The owner walks in a few minutes later and looks around his employees, so angry his eyes could fall out of his face. 

“If I don’t have enough money to cover the rent I’m gonna kick all of you in the ass, am I clear?”

Their employees nod, and he walks to the back where Ian is, pats him in the back, mumbles a _sorry_ very quietly and then tells him to get his shit together and go back to work. 

The rest of the night is pretty calm.

*

Mandy walks home from work Wednesday morning and she’s restless, night shifts are the worst. Apart from that, she doesn’t feel anything at all. Not even when Lip catches up to her somehow and walks right next her. 

Lip opens his mouth to say something the second the stop at a light and she sees him but he doesn’t know she sees him so he just closes his mouth and sighs, kicking the air once with his right foot. 

“Mandy?” Lip whispers and his hands reaches the one she has wrapped around her purse, and she almost screams. “Sorry,” he says right away realizing he had scared her. 

She shakes her head as telling him not to worry about it and when he just stares but doesn’t say anything for the next minute or so, she whispers back a, “Are you alright? Do you need something?”

“I heard what happened at the restaurant. I’m sorry you had to clean it up and all.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, you weren’t there,” she says. “And I’d like to think that even if you were, you would been throwing punches, too.”

“That’s for damn sure,” he replies right away and then he keeps quiet. Mandy can tell he’s thinking about asking something else so she waits, moving her eyes from the highway back to Lip letting him know that she’s still listening.

“Is he okay?” he asks then, his voice raw, and it’s so low she can barely hear it. But maybe that’s how she notices he actually wants to know.

“I hope so,” she breathes. “I don’t know what to do and it’s killing me.”

“Tell me about it,” he mumbles but she doesn’t hear it this time. 

She wants to ask him why he didn’t show up that day at the restaurant but she doesn’t. Because they’re not in a relationship and even if they were, she doesn’t have the right to claim anything. She could ask him, sure, just as friends, but she knows she wouldn’t sound very friendly so she hopes he’d just look at her and apologize for not going and then explaining what happened. He sighs, as if he was thinking about something very important and when he starts walking, Mandy sighs too, knowing the conversation is over.

*

Friday night comes along, and Mickey and two of his friends show up again at the diner when it’s empty and they’re about to close. Mandy sees him looking around the restaurant as if he was trying to find someone and his eyes drop to his hands when he doesn’t see him. Thank God Ian doesn’t work that night.

She takes a deep breath and walks towards the table, the biggest fakest smile she’s ever had to put up at this job on her face.

“I’m so sorry, guys, the kitchen’s close,” she says, the smile still on her face. “Unless you only want something to drink, I can’t do much for you.”

“Oh, I’m sure you can do a lot,” one of the guys says and her smile drops, a look of disgust on her face.

She shakes her head and turns around not even bothering to reply at his comment and walks towards the counter where she leaves the little notebook and her apron. She sees Mickey walking towards her while folding it and she just rolls her eyes, so tired and irritated and ready to go home. 

“What the _fuck_ are you doing?” She asks when he’s close enough.

“It’s a 24 hour diner, we want some food,” he hisses.

“It’s only open 24 hours on weekends and everybody knows that, so you and your friends can fuck right off.”

“Please, Mandy.”

“ _Fuck no_ ,” she spits. “You lied to me; you hurt my best friend who happens to be your boyfriend, or used to be. And I swear to God if you don’t get away from me right now I’m gonna start screaming after I kick you in the balls.”

It’s hard for him to keep a smile on his face after that but he manages to keep it blank, trying to prove to her and himself that her words didn’t hurt her as much as they did. He recovers incredibly fast, a smug smile on his face again.

And so her knee flies to his crotch, hitting him as hard as she can. His friends start making fun of him and Tank comes outside the kitchen to ask them to leave when she calls for help.

“What a _dick_ ,” she murmurs as she watches the door close behind them.

*

Mickey’s fucking scared.

He’s never felt this way about anybody and now he has all this emotions and thoughts growing inside of him and he doesn’t know how to stop them. He can’t stop thinking about Ian and his chest and the way he pinches the inside of his hands when he’s nervous and how he looks when he’s sleepy or the way his mouth looks after they’ve made out.

He lies down and flicks through his phone until he finds a picture of Ian reading in his bed and he wants to run to his house and kiss him, maybe even cry in his arms while asking for forgiveness. He imagines Ian saying they’re gonna be okay and pulling him into a hug and then sitting on top of him kissing him hard. He forces himself to stop thinking about that and throws the phone the other side of the room when his jeans feel a bit tight and he starts panting. 

“I’m such a dick,” he says to the roof after a while. He actually waits a little still looking up as if the ceiling would magically reply and tell him what he’s supposed to do now.

But it doesn’t, of course.

And he’s never felt more lost.

*

Mandy walks into Mickey’s room that Friday and he knows that means trouble.

She grabs him by the shirt and pushes him to the bathroom, ignoring his other brother’s complains about them not finishing playing the game. He follows because at least there they won’t hear them and he knows it’s gonna be bad. She lets go of him when they’re both inside and locks the door behind them once she’s sure no one’s there. She turns on the shower so the sound of the water running muffle they’re voices even more and Mickey wants to hug her because even mad, she does all she can to not let other people hear. To not let other people know.

“What the _fuck_ , Mickey?!”

“What?” he replies as if he doesn’t know what she’s talking about and Mandy looks at him like she’s ready to scream and beat him to death.

“Don’t you dare play dumb with me, okay? You know damn well what I’m talking about.”

Mickey doesn’t say anything. He looks down at his shoes and up to the ceiling and then to Mandy. She’s a bit more calmed now. She still wants to kill him but her shoulders are relaxed and she’s trying to keep her voice down.

“Are you gonna lecture me? Tell me that I’m a dick and I don’t deserve him? Because I’ve already heard all of that, thank you very much.”

Mandy shakes her head and pretends she doesn’t hear him because she doesn’t want to start yelling at him. It feels like it’s not even worth the time anymore.

“You wanna know what he did today? He was in his room crying his eyes out because of some stupid TV show that reminded him of you,” she murmurs, her eyes falling to the floor and they both feel they heart hurt thinking about that. “When he saw how worried I was for him he tried to smile and said, ‘this is the last time I’ll ever cry for him, I swear. I’m fine, I promise, I just have to get him out of my system.’ So I let him cry a bit more because he needed it.”

She pauses for a while, both of them just standing there, listening to the water hitting the floor and the barely understandable screams form outside.

“He loves you,” she continues and watches as his eyes close in a sign of pain and she could almost hear his heart breaking. “I’m not here to tell you that you’re a dick because you already know that. I’m here to tell you that he’s in love with you and that he’s hurting because of you. And I wouldn’t be telling you this if I didn’t know you felt the same way.”  
Mickey lets out a sob and Mandy sighs, choosing her words carefully, trying not to break him completely.

“He’s at the new bar close to his house. I’m pretty sure he’s drunk already, and looking for someone to, you know, forget about you,” she speaks slowly and his eyes fly to her face. He looks at her all wide teary eyes and in other circumstances she would have hugged him and told him everything will be okay. But if he didn’t do something, nothing would be. “Do something or you’re gonna lose him.”

She opens the door and the noise outside stops completely. The boys move out of her way when she gives them a glare, her anger coming back, and before she’s too far she looks back and screams, “Fucking fix this, you _dick_.”

Somehow, Mickey feels like that’s her way of supporting him. And once again he’s glad is her who knows about them and is glad she’s Ian’s best friend and glad she likes Lip as much as he likes her.

*

Mickey leaves the bathroom almost an hour later and he’s like the walking dead.

He doesn’t even hear anything his friends are asking him and his eyes don’t leave the floor until he finds Lip outside his house. He stares right back at him, no emotion whatsoever on his face.

“I fucked up, didn’t it?” Mickey asks and it’s hard to be understood with the tears closing up his throat.

“Big time,” Lip replies, nodding.

“You think I can fix it?”

Lip nods and they feel closer than they’ve ever been before and it should be weird. It really should. But it’s not and so Lip pats him in the back a few times, trying to let him know he’s gonna be okay.

“I have to go find Ian.”

And Lip replies, “About fucking time.”

They both laugh quietly and Mickey pats his pockets to make sure he has everything he needs and just stands in front of him, waiting for something but Lip doesn’t know what.

“Well, you’re going to go find Mandy, aren’t you?” he asks him and both of them leave the place as fast as they can.

*

The last thing Mandy wants to do right now is work.

But she has to and she has to cover for Ian who God only knows where he is and if he’s okay which makes focusing even harder. Is Mickey with him? Did he go find him? What if he didn’t? Wherever they are now, are they okay?

“Mandy!” She hears Tank call her and she jumps in place. She feels all of her blood rise up to her face because she’s been staring at the same point in the wall for a long time. She looks at him and he frowns as if asking if something’s wrong, but when she smiles he just says, “Can you run to the back and bring me some more bread?”

She nods and runs to the room in the back and steps and the little stair to reach one the bags of bread. Her mind starts wondering again and doesn’t realize her foot is the wrong position when she lets go and pushes herself back to get down. She tries to hold herself again but it’s too late and her body hits the ground with a loud thud. Everything around her is nothing but a blur then and she hears noise but she’s not sure what it is. It might be people talking or someone calling her name but whatever it is, it’s coming closer.

The light above her seems to turn brighter and brighter and brighter as the seconds go by until—all of a sudden—it’s gone and the darkness consumes it all.

*

Lip’s the one who finds Mandy on the floor.

*

Ian’s at the back of the bar where is dark, a drink on his hand and a boy who for some reason is almost as drunk as him dancing with him, but then again the place’s new and it’s the beginning of the weekend and the whole promotion and free drinks before ten only for the inauguration week makes people leave their houses early, so yeah. He gets why most of the people are drunk already, and he’s not going to complain.

He finishes the drink and throws the glass to the couch in front of him, closes his eyes and let his head fall back when the guy that was dancing behind him grabs his hips and pulls him closer. They move lazily with the beat, grinding against each other and Ian gasps when the guy bites down on the base of his neck pushing his hips forward and he’s so drunk he just pushes back earning a strangled moan.

Suddenly Ian’s dancing alone and before he can turn around to see where the guy went, Mickey’s there looking at him as if he wants to kill him. Or just push him against a wall and kiss the life out of him, neither of them is sure.

“Let’s go,” he growls grabbing his wrist and Ian does his best to keep up.

The walk back to his house is the more awkward moment of their lives. Or it would’ve if Jason wasn’t drunk of his ass and Sam wasn’t so mad he had to use all of his self control not to shout. They sit on Ian’s doorsteps and sighs. He touches his forehead with the tip of his fingers and he’s trying not to say something he might regret. Next to him, Ian’s staring forward and he’s so frustrated he wants to start crying. He stands right back up before anything happens and Mickey follows.

“Did you mean it?” Mickey asks and Ian stops dead in his tracks and turns around to look at him. “Did you mean what you told me that day?” he finishes and it’s just a whisper. It’s tiny and soft and scared and Ian barely hears it but his brows furrow immediately almost touching each other. He feels like shit asking that because _he knows_ but he needs to hear it from him right now. He’s going to need to hear it again and again and a few more times until he’s not afraid anymore or when things are going bad.

“Of course I meant it, you _dick_ ,” he spits and that’s all he can say because Mickey is pushing him hard against the door, the air leaving his lungs with an ‘ _oof_ ’ that  
Mickey catches with his mouth before kissing him as if he’d die if he doesn’t. Ian moans when he feels Mickey’s tongue touching the roof of his mouth and Mickey’s hips push harder against his and he’s sober now. Mickey moans back against Ian’s mouth when he pulls his hair a bit and Ian’s heart stops for a second at the broken sound.

When they stop, they’re both panting. A smile creeps on their faces and soon enough they’re laughing while closing their arms tight around each other.

They’re going to be okay.

*

Mickey’s first to say ‘I love you’ and neither of them runs away this time.

*

“What the hell happened?” asks Ian as soon as he sees Lip. 

“I don’t know.” He replies right away, standing up to greet him. “Tank told me she was at the back looking for bread and when I got there she was on the floor so I guess she fell. The doctor said it wasn’t bad but since she hadn’t eating anything all fucking day she wasn’t strong enough to get up again.”

“We ran into him on the way here, he’s pretty scared.”

“I bet,” he snorts. “Who did you come with?”

“Mickey,” Ian replies and he tries his best not to smile. He still does, though. Lip smiles right back at him knowingly, and he rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”

Lip laughs, “I didn’t say anything.”

“Anyways, he’s downstairs getting some coffee with him.”

“I thought she was in love with you,” Lip blurts out of nowhere and Ian has to take a moment to realize what he just said and make sense of it.

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

“Yeah, well, you’re an idiot.” He says, patting Lip in the back. “We’re in love with each other but it’s not that kind of love, you know?”

“Really? You don’t feel even a little bit attracted towards her?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t like girls that way,” Ian murmurs. “But if I were a bit straighter, I’d have tapped that ass ages ago.”

“Hey!” Lip punches him in the arm and it’s not so friendly.

“Easy,” Ian laughs, his hand soothing the place he’ll soon have a bruise. “I’m just fucking with you. I love Mandy to death but it’s not like that between us. Never has, never will be.”

Lip thinks about it for a while. He’s not sure if he can believe him because well, Mandy’s fucking beautiful and smart and funny and caring and it’s kind of hard to believe that someone wouldn’t want to be with her forever. But then again, Ian does want to be with her forever but not like _that_ , he just wants her to be around him forever and honestly, who can blame him?

“I don’t like her that way, Lip,” Ian says again coming a bit closer and pulling him into a hug. He pats his back again and he knows they’re both lucky to have each other. All four of them are lucky to have each other, really.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Mickey says laughing. “Looks like you ladies are having a moment. Do you want me to leave you two at it?”

Lip says, “Oh, fuck off,” at the same time Ian says, “Yes!” and Mickey just laughs shaking his head. He moves his boyfriend out of the way, his hand staying on his lower back, and asks about Mandy.

*

Mandy wakes up and the light blinds her for a second.

When her eyes get used to the light she tries to move but let out a moan before stopping all movement. Everything hurts and her head feels heavy and she wants to scream. The nurse’s there and soon enough gives her some pills for the pain. The effect is almost immediately. She sees her brother and relaxes more and more as the time passes. Mickey leaves after a minute or two to let Ian know she’s okay and that’s when Lip walks in the room.

“Hi,” he smiles awkwardly.

“Hiiiiiiiii,” she sings, the pills clearly doing its job. “I like you in blue. Your eyes look so pretty, I like your eyes.”

“Thank you,” he laughs a little sitting down on the bed, his hand resting on one of her covered knees. His thumb starts moving over the blanket and she can barely feel it but the hair on the back of her neck stands up anyways. “You scared the hell out of me, baby.”

“Sowwy,” she lets herself fall back into the pillow and winces a bit, her hand flying to the back of her head where she found the bandage. Lip let himself relax when he hears her laugh. “Oops.”

He looks at her for a while and she starts talking about something that doesn’t make sense at all but he still smiles at her until she shuts up completely, waiting for him to say something. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say so he just goes with, “Ian and Mickey are okay now.”

“Shhhhh,” she hushes him her eyes wide covering his mouth with one of her hands. “No one’s supposed to know. How do you even know? Did I tell you? Did you tell him?” She asks at the empty chair on the other side of the bed, frowning. She rolls her eyes and shakes her head before mumbling, “You’d think SpongeBob would keep a fucking secret.”  
Lip laughs loud at that and grabs the hand she has on his mouth to move it away so he can talk.

“Actually, they told me.”

“Mickey’s such a dick sometimes.” Mandy says just because.

“I know,” Lip agrees. “But he promised he’d make everything alright.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. He’s gonna tell his dad and he won’t hide it from people anymore.”

“Good luck with that.”

“You know…” He says after a while. “I thought you liked Ian.”

“I like Lip,” she replies after a yawn. ‘Ian always says Lip’s an idiot for not noticing.”

“Yeah,” Lip replies with a smile. “He sort of is.”

Mandy nods a little and yawns again.

“Go to sleep,” Lip whispers and moves her hair away from her face. She puts both hands on his shoulders and leans until she can press her lips against his for a second. She can hear the smile on his voice when he says, “We’ll talk more when you wake up, okay?”

She nods again getting comfortable in the bed. The last thing Mandy hears before she falls asleep is she saying, “You should meet him! Lip’s kinda funny and has such pretty eyes. They’re so, so blue and so, so pretty,” and Lip’s laugh.

*

Ian looks down at his leg where Mickey’s hand rests and he feel his heart start beating faster when he sees the little cuts on it and remembers the way Mickey knocked out one of the fat guys outside the bar for making gay jokes and insulting him. He can’t help himself and his fingertips brush against the broken skin and he wants to kiss his knuckles thinking it might help him heal faster even though he already has tried at least six times and it hasn’t worked. Mickey seems to like it anyways so he wouldn’t mind doing it if that’d make him smile.

He almost jumps out of his skin when Mick squeezes his leg harder and leans down to whisper in his ear how rude it is that he doesn’t listen to his best friend talk. He blushes and looks up at Mandy who’s laughing at something Lip’s saying. He looks back at Mickey and he gives him a playful smile and he knows they’re gonna take each other’s clothes later tonight and he can’t wait.

“Oh my god,” someone squeals next them. “Are you guys a couple?”

“Yeah,” Ian replies after a second or two of pure surprise and confusion. “Do we know you?”

“I don’t think so but I’m always here with my friends so I’ve seen you guys around sometimes,” she smiles and Ian thinks she’s nice until she starts talking again and its high pitched and what she says is kind of stupidly insulting, “Guys, like, we need to go out and go shopping and clubbing and stuff! I’ve always wanted gay best friends.”

“I don’t like shopping,” Mickey says then and it’s the truth. He hates it more than anything and he knows Ian does too. Sure they try to look good all the time and they like to look through the catalogs and stuff sometimes but mostly because the models are hot as fuck, not because they’re constantly thinking about the latest trends or what Harry Styles has been wearing lately to try and copy it.

“What?” She says taken aback and she puts both hands on her waist. “Are you sure you’re gay?”

“I’m pretty sure, yeah,” he replies and he’s trying not to sound mean.

“You’re such a bad homosexual,” she mumbles and Ian squeezes his wrist because he knows something is gonna happen. Mandy and Lip know it too and they try to change the subject and make her leave but he stops them.

“Oh my god, girl,” he says then in a funny voice surprising all of them. “We were just messing with you! We’ll love to go shopping and then we’ll go to Starbucks wearing yoga pants and Uggs and we’ll watch _Mean Girls_ while complaining about why boys are so mean and then we can get tanned and fill Instagram with pictures of us at the club twerking like the white bitches we are.”

The girl looks at him wide eyed not knowing what to say and she knows he didn’t mean it all but was trying to do what she just did to them.

“Yeah, fuck off,” he finishes and she just turns around and leaves the restaurant as fast as she can.

Once she’s gone, he looks around the table at the amused expression on their faces. He feels as if he did something bad suddenly and mumbles a sorry, letting himself fall back in the chair.

“You’re not a bad homosexual,” Ian says trying his best not to laugh. “You’re just a bit mean and impulsive and very protective.”

“That was fun, though. And she kind of deserved it,” Mandy adds and Lip soon nods laughing his ass off.

He stops laughing when Mickey’s friends walk in. Some keep walking and three of them go back a few steps when they see them. They shift on their seats looking at each other, waiting for the worst.

“Hey, guys,” one of them greets them and they reply with a nod. Mandy recognizes him right away. It was the guy she poured the water on. “The guy said the piece for my car will her here next Friday.”

“Fuck, that sucks,” Mickey replies.

“That’s what I said,” another guy shouts and then the other guy says, “You guys on a double date or something?”

And there’s nothing on his voice other than pure curiosity.

“Sort of,” Mickey replies and the guy nods.

He starts pushing his friends away while saying, “We’ll leave you alone then. See you guys later, yeah?”

He nods while the rest share a disbelieved look. Mandy takes Ian’s hand over the table for a second but Ian lets go of it laughing when Lip sends them a playful glare and Mandy has to kiss the frown away.

Ian’s laugh gets stock on his throat when _the_ guy comes back and the world seems to stop because he’s looking right at him.

“I’m sorry I called you a fucking faggot,” he mumbles looking down at the table for a second and Ian’s jaw drops.

“I’m sorry Mandy threw water on you,” he replies once he’s out of his trance.

“I kind of deserved it,” he answers and gives him a last smile. “See you guys around.” 

And then he’s gone. 

Mickey holds his hand and Ian squeezes hard, not wanting to know if he was behind his apology. He just wanted to leave all of that behind them and enjoy their now. They resume the conversation right where they left it without even knowing how but it’s not like it really matters.

Mickey’s thumb starts moving over his skin very slowly and he knows they’re gonna be okay. The world starts moving again, the clock keeps ticking, his heartbeat slows down to a more normal pace and he feels lucky to have Mickey and the friends he has. He lets out a sigh and relaxes on his seat, his head resting on his boyfriend’s shoulder for a while just because he can.

He smiles because yeah, they’re gonna be okay, but they’re okay right now too.

**Author's Note:**

> forgive me - [xcaffeinerush.tumblr.com](http://xcaffeinerush.tumblr.com)


End file.
